A nice way to say "you suck"

When auditioning a whole bunch of people or getting MP3s from people... what's a nice way to say thanks but no thanks without hurting a guys feelings or even worse, making him want to stalk you with an uzi some time in the future?

Like, I meet these great people online who give this great buildup about how good they are. After several emails, I finally get an MP3 from them and realize that they're about 20 years behind me in terms of playing experience.
Or they have absolutely nothing to offer in terms of anything that I couldn't do myself. Or, no recording experience.

How do you turn somebody down after building up a friendly email reletionship in such a way as to make it clear that you don't want to work with them but not completely close the door to future working relationships? (just in case the guy makes a million bucks some day)
(I'm looking for serious answers btw, not smart ass replies)

er... its the internet. It doesn't matter? With people in real life its more difficult. My band played with a drummer today who was horrible. We're trying to figure out how to turn him away. Just to get through the practice my lead guitarist said "no fills untill you learn the song". Thank god! Every time he did a fill he was off beat. :o

How about "I'm headed in a different direction than the kind of stuff you play... but I'll keep you in mind if something ever changes (i.e. you start dating Britney Spears' sister)"

Or "I enjoyed your stuff, but there's a bunch of others auditioning that I need to get to first. I'll let you know if we can work something out"

I dunno... it's not really that hard to be polite while turning someone down. Happens every day.

How about acting like the stuff they play is waaaaaay over your head,you'll need another century or two to catch up...
At an audtiton for a reality tv show I was called for,the master of ceremonies kept on about how "all you guys are really talented,blah blah...."
If I'm as talented as you say,then wtf didn't you pick me?I was too much for you or what?It's so patrnosing(even matronising!)

Personally, I hate the "Yeah, you were GREAT, but..."
I think it's much better to just say "no , you are not what I'm looking for I'm afraid".
But then again, more than one man has tasted my wrath and my uzi...

Yeah, it might be best to just be honest (or at least as close to honest as you can). Just say they're not what you're looking for at this time. Music changes with time, maybe some day they will be what you're looking for. Or you could do my favorite and just say "Get bent" and leave it at that.

I seem to learn this lesson over and over again as I get older: Never burn your bridges. You never know when you're going to have to come back crawling with your tail between your legs, and, if you've parted amicably, there's waaay less shame in doing that.

The only purpose that letting loose on others is for an ego trip. There's no other benefit. So, if making yourself feel superior is your goal in life, go for it. But keeping relationships intact has benefits you'll never realize existed.

The toes you step on today are connected to the butt you need to kiss tomorrow. :eek: Also, maybe you don't want to work with them, but what about their friends, or maybe they have other contacts that you could use one day?

Hm.. What about this one: "You suck, but you suck good"? That's a nice way to say you suck.. "You suck better than most ;)" or maybe "You suck awesome, dude!"


:eek: :eek: