Lyrics

(20 second intro solo)

The Iron door SLAMS shut behind me.
Not a single soul I know will ever find me...here
In this hidden cell
The earthly equivalent to our hell.

Around me sit unnoticed lonely faces,
And all they think about is lonely places...here
I sit against the wall.
Aren't I the loneliest one of them all?

I never lied, I never stole
I always did as I was told.
I'd never cheat, I always gave
But tell me who did all my givings save?

I triieed to run away
I triiieeed but was I trying to stay?

The Iron door SLAMS shut behind me.
Not a single soul I know will ever find me...I'll
be in eternal doubt
that's the only thing that I'm sure about.

I think they should give me just one second chance...no
There's not a person here I could enhance
Death is upon me like a ravenous swarm,
But if we fear death we should not have been born.
I go to die so that others may live
Could you sacrifice what I'm willing to give.
I did something for which I must pay the price
All I can ask you is take my advice.

[Edited by Number of the Beast on 08-29-2003 at 04:52 PM]

So, what do you think?

Its ok but not quite hitting me emotionally [maybe cus im at work]
The subject is quite intense, but i dont understand this part, where u say u never lied, cheated and etc.. and then in the end where u say u have to pay the price etc.. i think thats the death sentence that ur getting there [the persona doesnt have to be you but ill say you]

maybe the imagery of the cell could be damper and more rusty and cold but ud prolly be expressing that in the music so i'm not critisizing.
i like the part where u say for if we fear death we shouldnt have been born...

so to sum up i think its got structure but needs more surreality. feel free to tell me what i didnt understand in the message.

well, you're right about the death sentence thing, but you missinterpreted the never lied part. What I mean is, the guy never did anything wrong until he made this one mistake that screwed him forever. anyhow, with music it would be a lot more "surreal" as you put it. Understand that you read only the words, not how they are sung or the harmony that accompanies them.

Right so one mistake....well yea unfortunatley [if u wanna get into a conversation about law and how full of bull the gov is - any gov]

he wont get a second chance and some other guy might walk.

about the surreality or whatever, thats my way of vcalling it cus im inclined to more psych and stuff like that automatically. the whole thing with music is a different matter then.

well, I'm Republican, so I'm all about harsh punishment, but yeah I think he knows that he's getting something he may have earned, you know, and he's asking for people not to repeat it.

Well, they sound a little "rappish" because of all the rhyming.

The first verse doesn't rhyme except the last 2 lines, and then the rest of the song does. Different.

It's pretty good overall though, it's just hard to make lyrics that rhyme sound that good.

Thanks, oh and trust me, it's definitely not sung like rap.

How come when things rhyme a lot of people automatically say rap. That isn't true. I don't see why rhyming is shunned so much these days... not that i've had many days to compare these days with. My point is... I like the song even though it rhymed. They weren't Bob Dylan-like or anything, but they weren't bad. I'd like to see a happy song put up on the lyrics forum for once. All these dismal songs make me depressed.

Nice sig man...and thanks. I just kinda got online and wrote that the other day. It was pretty cool, and you're right, I like rhyming. Personally I don't think it's a song unless it rhymes.

Originally posted by Number of the Beast
Nice sig man...and thanks. I just kinda got online and wrote that the other day. It was pretty cool, and you're right, I like rhyming. Personally I don't think it's a song unless it rhymes.

What? That's like saying it's not poetry unless it rhymes.

Dr. Suess anyone?

Originally posted by Pantallica1

Originally posted by Number of the Beast
Nice sig man...and thanks. I just kinda got online and wrote that the other day. It was pretty cool, and you're right, I like rhyming. Personally I don't think it's a song unless it rhymes.

What? That's like saying it's not poetry unless it rhymes.

Dr. Suess anyone?

it's not poetry unless it rhymes. free verse blows.

NO, i don't want green eggs and ham!

all songs that have lyrics (and some that don't :D) are forms of poetry, Thus, the lyrics don't have to rhyme (although most do anyway) for them to work out, and sound good.

I don't believe in writing lyrics that don't rhyme. Just a personal thing, but I have to have some kind of rhyming scheme in there. Just being obsessive compulsive, I guess. ;)

I like free verse myself, but it seems widely overused. Its actually refreshing to see lyrics that rhyme.

Rhyming can be clever and people often like it because of this, or it can be amusing. A while ago I wrote a blues song about roadkill and put in the line: 'Come on baby I feel so alive/Can I take you for a drive?' I laughed at myself when I came up with that, but really its awful cheese, it could either make people grin at its cleverness or thing 'That's absolutely awful!'...I haven't tested it on an audience yet so I guess i'll have to wait and see.

As for freeverse, I don't feel its overused, it always jumps out at me...maybe because I listen to a lot of music with rhyming lyrics...I bought a copy of Radiohead's 'Hail to the Theif' recently, try listening to that for freeverse - read the lyrics BEFORE you listen to the songs...on paper they seem like a rambling mess but with the music and Yorke's amazing voice they come to life. THAT is inspired music.