All I want


guitarboy313
Registered User
Joined: 10/13/05
Posts: 85
guitarboy313
Registered User
Joined: 10/13/05
Posts: 85
07/27/2009 10:40 pm
Any suggestions to making this a little better?



Verse 1

I try so many times to please you

I try so many times to care

Just can't find the strength anymore to

Want you to see all our flaws together

Verse 2
Yet I can't help but stare at the phone

Waiting for your next call

Just want you to know

Your everything I dream for

Chorus

Your all that I want now

Your all that I can't live without

You should come by sometime

So we can be together

Verse 3

I know I need you

To help me through

All thats happened

Throughout this year

Chorus

Your all that I want now

Your all that I can't live without

You should come by sometime

So we can be together
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]Everything is over rated except guitars drums basses and pianos.[/FONT]
# 1
Neal Walter
GuitarTricks Channel Host
Joined: 02/11/09
Posts: 2,280
Neal Walter
GuitarTricks Channel Host
Joined: 02/11/09
Posts: 2,280
07/28/2009 3:33 pm
I like this guys advice on writing lyrics:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EG5Vo2cLfo
[FONT=Book Antiqua][FONT=Arial][FONT=Tahoma]Neal
GT Channel Host[/FONT]
[/FONT][/FONT]

http://www.guitartricks.com/channel/
# 2
JeffS65
Registered User
Joined: 10/07/08
Posts: 1,602
JeffS65
Registered User
Joined: 10/07/08
Posts: 1,602
07/29/2009 12:29 am
Love the link Neal. That was really very clear. I like that he said 'Get your dysfunctional self out of the way'.

If anything I can say from a person that has hated almost every lyric I've ever written is that it sometimes is easy to get too literal or to say exactly what [U]you[/U] mean. Taking from what Ralph in the video link said; bring it to your listener. I take that as to let them interpret. The problem with lyric writing is tht we can use words to say the precise message we want. Country is very good at this but is also one of the reasons why a number of country lyrics fall flat for me.

I think the point I'm trying to make is that I like lyrical landscapes like a painter would do. A painter isn't thinking about what he/she is trying to communicate, they are trying to get out what they feel but in a way that people may enjoy.

I feel that's key. Music is very emotional.

I will let you in on a moment that is a little personal but it illustrates the point. I lost the closest person in my life within the last year. Obviously, lots of emotion. The other day I was listening to Slacker and the Beatles 'Long and Winding Road' came on, I was reduced to a puddle by the message, even in abstract, that it sent to me. The message of that song is such that it will carry a meaning for the listener. It may also do so for the writer but if you intend for your stuff to be heard, what you say needs to be available to a variety of sensibilities.

I'm not tearing down your lyrics but pointing out what I think might be missing. I know exactly what your saying but it may not connect as emotionally with me as I would want. Maybe imply something instead of specifically stating it.

Make sense?
# 3

Please register with a free account to post on the forum.