Another not named one

So here's this song I wrote about a week ago and we played for the first time last night. It's probably pretty boring to listen to (or read), since it's only two chords the whole time and the words largely just repeat, but you know.

Catalyst blows and the moon explodes on the scene
And I swear I thought I saw you there
Sat on the floor with my guilt and I tore at a theme
And I swear I thought I saw you there

And I swear I thought I saw you there ( x 3)
And I saw you there

Locked in the white with the God of the Light at my side
And I swear I thought I saw you there
Stalking my heart as the being apart takes a bite
And I swear I thought I saw you there

And I swear I thought I saw you there ( x 3)
And I saw you there
*musical break*
And I swear I thought I saw you there ( x 3)
And I saw you there

Catalyst blows and the door is exposed just enough
And I swear I thought I saw you there
Stared at the night and the God of the Light from above
And I saw you there, it's love

By the way, if you can help me come up with a name for this, that'd be great.

A little too repititious for my tastes but hey if it's musical right? I would try changing it up a bit.

yeah, really repetative...

but whats there is awesome.

why cant I write like you, brendon?

*sulks*

Yeah, I'd change the song up more, but writer's block is a serious thing with me. It took me like 4 days of solid thinking to come up with the little bit that's there.

Do you think It'd be any better if I dropped all the "And I swear I thought I saw you there" things from the verses? I'd be willing to do that, but I have a couple problems with it:

1) That makes the verses really short.
2) It screws up the "And I saw you there, it's love" part at the end, which I intended to kind of surprise people with. Abrupt ending, you know?

Anyhow....thanks for taking the time to read it, guys. Any ideas for a title?

If you say "And I swear I thought I saw you there," I'll sock ya. :)

Actually, and I say this from the perspective of someone who has not only heard but played this song, the repeating line in the verses is what makes it cool. Really, if not for that, I would hate hearing this song. By the way, good idea changing that line. But I still think you should use the "fever explodes" part in a different song, because I was thinking about it, and that's a cool line. As for a title...how about..."The Black Hotel"? That or "The Gray Boat House". Or no, I know, "The Opaque Jug".

My favourite part is this:
"as the being apart takes a bite"

Kudos to you, Brendon. Kudos to you.

Originally Posted by: acapellaActually, and I say this from the perspective of someone who has not only heard but played this song, the repeating line in the verses is what makes it cool. Really, if not for that, I would hate hearing this song. By the way, good idea changing that line. But I still think you should use the "fever explodes" part in a different song, because I was thinking about it, and that's a cool line. As for a title...how about..."The Black Hotel"? That or "The Gray Boat House". Or no, I know, "The Opaque Jug".

My favourite part is this:
"as the being apart takes a bite"

Kudos to you, Brendon. Kudos to you.

Haha. Thanks. I'm glad you like the repeating line, because I gave it some thought today and I sure as heck can't think of a replacement.

"Light From Above"

the way this one rolled off my tongue reminded me of Mia by Chevelle.