Crazy Story

I found this in another forum I frequent in a thread about the stupidest things you've ever done. This was an article someone found:

"Flaming projectile gerbil--Actual article from the LA Times

"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only
trying to retrieve the Gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors
in
the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski and his
homosexual partner Andrew (Kiki) Farnom, had been admitted for
emergency
treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed
a
cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in." he
explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd
had
enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I
peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking that the light might
attract him."

At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what
happened
next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot
out
of the tubing, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his
face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn
ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the
rodent out like a cannonball." Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns
and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnom suffered
first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.

TOP 11 SCARIEST THINGS ABOUT THIS STORY

11. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum." - Good start.

10. "As usual,Kiki shouted out "Armageddon" - They do this frequently?
(Or, at least they have done this more than once).

9. "So I peered into the tube." - I'm sorry, but that's like looking
through a telescope into hell. I'd rather use binoculars to stare
at the
sun.

8. The poor gerbil (who obviously suffers from low self esteem) being
shot
out of the gay guy's ass like Rocky the Flying Squirrel.

7. Suffering a broken nose from a gerbil being launched out of
someone's
anus. I'm just guessing, but I seriously doubt the said gerbil was
springtime fresh after his little journey into Kiki's tunnel of
love.

6. People walking around with these volcanic-like pockets of gas in
their
rectums.

5. This happened in Salt Lake City. What kind of people are those
Mormons?
I'm starting to get a whole new image of the Osmond family.

4. "First and second degree burns to the anus." Wouldn't this make the
burning itch and discomfort of hemorrhoids a welcome relief? How
does
one ever take a healthy dump after something like this? And the
smell of
a burning anus must be in the top five most horrible scents on the
face
of God's green earth.

3. People named "Kiki" which is obviously a Polynesian word for:
"Idiotic
men who shove rodents up their butts."

2. What kind of hospital would hold a press conference on this?

1. People who do this kind of thing and then admit what they were doing
when taken to the emergency room. Sorry, but I think I would have
made
up a story about a gang of roving, pyromaniac, anal sex fiends
breaking
into my house and sodomizing me with a charcoal lighter before I
admitted the truth. Call me old fashioned, but I just can't imagine
looking at a doctor and saying "Well Doc, it's like this. You see
we
have this gerbil named Raggot and we took this cardboard tube..."






There are some messed up people in this world! I mean come on, would you want someone shoving you into an a$$ hole? poor gerble

I've heard the story of Raggot's mystical journey before. Glorious.

Last time I heard that story Raggot had a different name and was a hamster !

I'm betting this is an urban myth. Which would be perfect for the show Mythbusters. It would be a sqeamish episode to watch at best.

This also reminds me of Lemmiwinks and Mr. Slave a la South Park.

[font=trebuchet ms]Leedogg nails it in one.[/font]

And eggman delivers the knockout punch!

Where do you think "The Pet Shop Boys" got their name !!!

Originally Posted by: iamthe_eggmanAnd eggman delivers the knockout punch!

good one! I forgot all about checking it out at snopes.

I heard that story told by Robert D. Rayford on the John Boy and Billie radio show. They still to this day will play a clip of him yelling Armaggon, but it doesn't make sense if you don't know the story......