I like the idea of a sustained lead guitar line; I think that would add a lot to the song.
Also, the breakdown outro is cool. I'd definitely keep that section.
One thing is that I can barely hear the distorted rhythm guitar... that's most likely either on purpose or because of my cheesy computer speakers.
One more thing - where did your accent go?
... and that's all I have to say about that.
[U]ALL[/U] generalizations are [U]WRONG[/U]
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[U]ALL[/U] generalizations are [U]WRONG[/U]
[/sarcasm]