"Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year, it's just not that widely reported".
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Use the distortion box as a kill switch. That is, set the level to 0 and whenever you turn it on you'll instantly turn off the volume. I've just been thinking about that recently, it's not really a very interesting trick, is it. Try putting the boxes in reverse order. Reverb, then chorus, then distortion. It will sound like mud, but it could be good mud.