Originally Posted by: CSchlegelAwesome! It's wonderful that you are creating original stuff & putting it out there, Razbo.
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Thanks. I am finding the experience to be extremely eye-opening. Playing the intruments is not an ego thing, rather, it's really quite humbling and educational.

I have a whole new respect for the Bass/Drums relationship. Anytime I put down the drums before bass I have to go back and redo it so far. Arrogant bastard that I am, I always thought the bass was playing with ME :D.

Originally Posted by: CSchlegel
I think the criticisms Slipin Lizard offered were fair & helpful. I'll add a couple of other things that stuck out.
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I 100% agree. Any off colour responces are just my sense of humour and not offence taken. I'm already puttuing the suggestions to good use. (I think.)

Originally Posted by: CSchlegel
Recording wise, are you using a compressor or pre-amp? That can help make the recorded input signal a little more "present"; 3-D or lively instead of thin & sterile. What kind of mic are you using to record to vox & guitars?

This is a critical point. I have very little recordng gear, and you are right. Ther tracks seems somehow 'dead' There is no sparkle. This applies to all of them. I try adding some subtle reverb and playing with the frequencies which helps a bit.

[QUOTE=CSchlegel]
Composition & arrangement wise, you've got some good raw ideas on sections & contrasts (intro, verse, chorus, solo, etc.). But I think they could be tightened up more & made more contrasting.

Tighter for sure. Contrasting with different sound... That would apply to my live play, too. I don't use a lot of effects, maybe I should. I'm big on ride-cymbal choruses, though. Back when I was drumming, Alex V was pretty much my hero. I think you are also referring to "transitions" (from verse to cho, etc) as well. Some parts are deliberately harsh transitions. I want them to knock you in the head. Others could use some little bridges. I find those more difficult to write than the rest of the song, but I am working on some for One Regret, and another tune that is not up yet.

[QUOTE=CSchlegel]
Also, dynamics. You have a little bit of dynamics, gradually building the song up & bringing it back down. But even within sections, you can build the tension more, for example by starting sparcely, then making the bass or guitar more active or louder as the section progresses.

And speaking of lyrics, they are sincerely meant in thought & emotional content. But I don't think the melody you use (the notes you sing) to get them across supports them as well as they could. This is not a criticism of your voice per se! But of how you are using your voice. Again, try to create a story arc to each line, verse, chorus, the overall song. Play the melody on the guitar. Think in musical terms as you write & sing the lyric to impart a melodic arc.

I will focus on these things. I like big dramatic songs and try to really bring that in with the parts. One Regret is such a long song, it would really help to add some texture to that. A rework is underway. And I'm newly concious of trying to emphasioze the the 'important words'. This is new to me (I would normally just go for it) and I'm still feeling that out but I see where that's going to help get my points and emotions across.

Thanks once again to everyone for the input. I put up new songs every few days. I have several going back to the 80's, I'm just trying to get them catalogued for now. Almost everything was originally written on acoustic guitar, so I'll start putting up original versions as well as my electrified versions and maybe update this thread once in a while if I think I put up something of interest.