Ok, here's something I just came up with

Smoke and mirrors
Preyin' on fears
Appeal to the basest and most vile careers
The snake rears its head and exposes its hood
The eyes imprinted there just like petrified wood
Stone
Cold and alone
Seers through your flesh and yet chills the bone.
The anger wells up and fills your hollow body
And you call yourself a prophet, vengeful illuminati.
Fangs, leave your body numb
A poison binds your muscles and strikes your mouth dumb
Yet you see
You hear the plea
A thousand million voices cry out to be set free
And your muscles relax
The poison sinks back
To the one place it had truly sought to attack
It flows into your mind, with a cool flood of evil
And with quiet calculation it begins to deceive you
The ignorance, it makes you think with a sneer
These voices just don't know exactly what they should hear.
Confused,
Alone and abused,
Come before your people for they know not to choose.
And now the mercury begins to ooze through your veins
Your mind a monarchy over which delusions will reign.
You see the chains of bondage, thousands of years old
Your mind echoes a time where man could be bought and sold
Resonating hatred
Rage never abated
And intelligence is only used for what it was fated
To be; you've succumbed to the cobra,
Its vile poison sweet in its deceptive aroma.
You listen to its voice, an angelic sonority
Realize not, o deceived, that fallen angels are angels, surely
Sink further your people into the mire
Allow your hatred to promote man's basest desires
Greed and corruption, let it come to your child
And your childrens' children, a plague spreading wild
And those you try to save will accept your salvation
Your prophecies will sound on every radio station
And your voice will be heard, though long ago turned
Until your neighborhoods of youth are blackened out and burned
Charred wreckage, that cannot be salvaged
Is this what you had in mind when you constructed your palace?

I can hear eminem rapping that one there Jolly. Pretty good. Reall emotive a little too much anger for you but when inspiration strikes. Oh and did you mean Praying on fears or preying on fears?

Originally Posted by: magicninjaI can hear eminem rapping that one there Jolly. Pretty good. Reall emotive a little too much anger for you but when inspiration strikes. Oh and did you mean Praying on fears or preying on fears?

My mistake, I meant "preying." Haha, honestly I couldn't see Eminem rapping this one, it'd be a bit hypocritical.

A little but I can hear him doing it in an aggresive style like at the end of Stan.

Originally Posted by: magicninjaA little but I can hear him doing it in an aggresive style like at the end of Stan.

I picture MF Doom or Immortal Technique fitting these lyrics a little better. Maybe Tribe Called Quest, but that's pushing it.

Nice job. I must say though it pisses me off seeing all these pre-teen kids running around listening to stan. How come you can't say s*** on tv, but you can play songs about murdering women on public radio? :confused:

O well, anyways great poem.

Gotta love the law. :rolleyes:

That's another cool song you got there Jolly.

i dont see eminem raping this.. i see it with satch behind on guitar.. maby thats beacuse i was listining to cool #9 while i was reading it. LOL

pretty cool though

Originally Posted by: 16andlifetogoi dont see eminem raping this..

I could...but rapping it-no. :D

Originally Posted by: ericthecableguyI could...but rapping it-no. :D

LOL my bad... :o

If the rhyming structure was changed somewhat, and it was broken up into verses, I could almost see Iron Maiden doing this one. Damn good!

Originally Posted by: 16andlifetogoLOL my bad... :o

Meh...my bad, please exxcuse my snobbish jerkiness. :o

Originally Posted by: ericthecableguyMeh...my bad, please exxcuse my snobbish jerkiness. :o

You have been excused..... :D