Here's a funk song about my bassist's trip to 7-11

(spoken/rapped)
Now we all have our stories...
Perhaps they are tales of such things as
inebriation
exacerbation
Remastication
collaboration
infatuation
And not to mention
embarassment

OWWW

But only one among us
By the naaaame of Curtis Allison
Has a story
so exhilirating
not pontificating
But defibrilating
in a certain kind of way
to bring any listener to life

A he rolled up about half past nine or maybe it was quarter ta three
He strolled in through the sliding doors cause he wanted a soda, B
A he got in line and he looked down and what he saw was somethin' to see,
That woman with the mullet was only wearin' not two not four not three!

But ONE SHOE
What the funk?
I said what the funk was that?
I said ONE shoe
What the funk?
Where's the other at?

A he thought hard and he turned his brain, but this he couldn't figure out
Could this one shoe chick be sane? Our Curtis had his doubts
A he let it slide, it must be lost, but she proved to him she was unsound
That crazy mother lady took out a sock full of pennies that she started to count!

He thought ONE shoe
What the funk?
I said what the funk was that?
I said ONE shoe
What the funk?
Where's the other at?

A she counted slow but finished up, there was a dollar eighty-nine
And with this cash she wished to buy two forties and some turpentine
Now we all know that's not enough, but her mathematics weren't refined
When she learned she needed more she was taken aback, said I'll just take ciggs, this time

He thought ONE shoe
What the funk?
I said what the funk was that?
I said ONE shoe
What the funk?
Where's the other at?

A she left the store with a pack of newports inside a run-down truck
A Curtis left soon afterwards, and this next image stuck
He saw her walkin Down the street, of all the crazy luck
What happened to her auto, man, and as for the shoe, Did the lady just not give a...FUNK!?

He thought ONE shoe
What the funk?
I said what the funk was that?
I said ONE shoe
What the funk?
Where's the other at?

He thought ONE shoe
What the funk?
I said what the funk was that?
I said ONE shoe
What the funk?
Where's the other at?

OW!